Restless

I figured out what it is with me. I think it's the problem that everyone has. We're all just too damn restless. We have to have something to do, or feel like we have to do something at least. We have to feel like we're preparing for something and feel like we have some sort of purpose. Or else we feel like nothing. We feel restless. We feel like there is energy bottled up on the inside that needs to be released. For me, that energy becomes anger. Terrible anger. Since I've come to the realization that I probably won't be playing soccer again, I've been filled with a certain rage that before soccer could cure. I could go kick a fucking ball, kick it as hard as I could and the anger would subside. My energy would all be spent. But I feel like I'm holding too much of it in.

Everyone goes through a change in their life. Maybe it's for better or maybe its for worse. But whatever it is, it's for a reason. I been trying to figure this out for the longest time and I thought I had it figured out. I mean I knew that I would need to do something else with my life but I didn't know what yet. Well I need to put my energy into something else. There's too much energy that is just waiting to be used. Too much energy turning into anger for me. So I gotta put my heart into something. I think everyone does. Or we become restless. We wanna find an outlet for this excess energy, in whatever form it may take. I just gotta figure out what it is I really want. What is it that means so much to me?

What is it that means so much to you?

That is all